Swimming downstream

“In the journey of every great being, there’s a singular moment they finally surrender to their soul signature.  They finally embrace who they are, the way they are.”                         —Panache Desai

I love the idea that we’re on a journey to our ‘soul signature’.  I interpret that place as the  true self, the ‘who’ I am supposed to be in this crazy life.  I envy those of you who found a passion early.  I’m still on my journey.  As a kid, I spent hours sketching and enjoyed writing.  I did not feel supported in creative pursuits as an adult.  My loved ones chose good jobs with benefits; chancy, creative pursuits made them nervous.  Looking back, I chose the safe route and put my passions in the ‘tomorrow’ pile.

I earned a bachelor’s degree in creative writing degree 18 years ago.  I worked odd jobs attempting to use my degree.  I finally started teaching English on the other side of the world.  I planned to write, travel and work all over the world.  I was derailed when my Dad became terminally ill.  I came back home just in time to say goodbye.  For the next few months, I recovered between my current city of Bellingham and my mom’s home on Vancouver Island.

I did not take that time to find my ‘soul signature’.  Instead I was encouraged by my well-meaning mother to “just get a job, be a nurse or a secretary”.  I’ve been nursing for over 15 years.  I am not complaining.  In many ways, it’s a great job.  Nursing allows me to support myself, gives me flexibility and wonderful co-workers.  Aside from that, I really like the act of nursing, it fulfills my need to help others.

Writing this entry left me with a little knot in my throat.  Nursing has been a great vehicle for my life, it’s just not my destination. For years I’ve been looking for a way out of nursing and becoming more frustrated each year.   I’ve stopped that.  Instead, I decided to change the way I look at my job.  I stopped blindly looking for an escape.  I’m leaning into the time I have left at work.  After years talking my way into the ‘golden handcuffs’, I finally remembered nothing lasts forever.

Especially not a job.

Takeaways

1. Do what you love.
2. Take some chances.
3. Think of your current job as a vehicle, not a destination.

Websites

10 Useful Ways to Choose the Right Direction in Life (Without Wasting a Bunch of Time) 

You’re Not Lost, You’re Just In-Between

Everything You’ve Been Told About Finding Your Passion Is Wrong (Here’s Why) 

Golden Handcuffs: Stuck in the Wrong Job?

Featured photo credit to Donna Janigo