Since starting Well, I’ve been writing what inspires me instead of setting boundaries to work within. Now that writing has become a habit and a delightful one at that, I look forward to working on Well. Sometimes I wake up thinking of a topic! Nerd alert! In a good way.
Recently, I started to talking more about Well but struggling to describe my blog focus. I talked to Laura Todd and we listed some of the ideas I was trying to convey: health, love, wealth, joy, peace and sharing…. She mentioned she liked a few articles for the ‘actionable’ information on wellness. Over my weekend of recovery, I decided!
…sharing actionable ways to improve well-being.
My goal is to write, share and show ways we can all be more well. In that spirit, here’s an article that helped me find more happiness.
Wanderlust published an article that caught my eye a few years ago. I was looking for ways to be more positive but really lacked the know how. In How to Turn Envy Into Joy, Helen Avery says, “So what if, rather, we transformed the very thing that pained us into becoming our source of inspiration? We could turn that energy into something not only positive, but active.” She was talking about the jealousy we experience when others seem happier, wealthier, more free or (…fill In the blank) than ourself. It really hit a nerve. I was jealous of a friend’s happier relationship, another friends money savvy and happier couples among other things. I was a jealous mess!
Avery suggests taking 5 steps to go from jealousy to joy.
1. Understand Your Desires
I worked on admitting I had some negative feelings toward my friends. I wrote down all the things that made me jealous.
2. Reframe Your Thinking
That list became a framework for new goals. From this framework I began some big changes I’m still moving through.
3. Practice Gratitude
I started to practice a few years ago. I’ve become more grateful for my life…and my friends everyday.
4. Cultivate Happiness
I began to define goals and started taking baby steps toward them. Avery suggests ‘mudita‘. “More than two thousand years ago, both Patanjali and the Buddha taught the practice of mudita as an antidote to the feeling that your happiness is threatened or diminished by the happiness of others. Mudita, the third of the brahmaviharas, or yogic teachings on love, is the ability to take active delight in others’ good fortune or good deeds.”- FRANK JUDE BOCCIO
5. Have Self-Compassion
At first, I tried to be more gentle to myself in minuscule ways. It remains surprising how truly difficult self-compassion can be.
You’ll be happy to hear in the past few years I am happier. Even better, I enjoy my life more now. I’m rarely jealous anymore. When I am, I try sit in that feeling and find some inspiration. Sometimes I manage mudita and even some self-compassion here and there.